we have approximately 14 hours left of 2008. it is hard to believe. so much has happened in one year. wonderful new life added to our family and yet another precious one taken. new developments in our now 3 year olds-that never cease to amaze me. i look forward to a new year. 2009 has great promise. God has taught me painfully so much but i still anticipate more growth. i was talking to my sister-in-law the other day in regards to the pain of growth. we wouldn’t ever want to go through the pain that we have in this past year but know that we are right where God wants us to be. the pain is a little duller now, but the lessons learned i hope go deeper. it is exciting to think of the things we will encounter in 2009!! one of the most anticipated things is the new youth building. as most lessons, this one hasn’t turned out the way WE had visioned. jason and i have “never been this way before” so everything was new to us. from how to communicate what we had envisioned in our heads, to deadlines and staying in budget. the hardest lesson is time lines. learning that not many things are going to be finished the way you want when you want. everything takes longer. i was getting disheartened about this thinking NOTHING was going to be done, we were going to have to push back our opening…reschedule the band…it wasn’t what OUR plan was. the students will be disappointed and will we have chairs for the cafe??? all these thoughts were abounding. we had a meeting and came up with some solutions, and in meeting together God gave us all such a peace. i began to realize that, even though i have heard this and said this a million times, it isn’t about our time line. God is in control and HE determines when it is finished. then a dear friend emailed me a little something that i believe God gave her to send me:
“ i was reminded of nehemiah as he was commissioned by God to rebuild the wall. there was opposition before he even began & continuing all the way through, “those who were rebuilding the wall & those who carried burdens took their load w/one hand doing the work & the other holding a weapon. as for the builders, each wore his sword girded @his side as he built…” (neh 4.17&18) but the Lord was faithful & the wall was completed as He had already determined, “so the wall was completed…they recognized that this work had been accomplished w/the help of our God — literally, from our God (neh 6.15&16). when people came to distract nehemiah he declared, “i am doing a great work & i cannot come down.” (neh 6.3). BUILD THE WALL!
we have been commissioned by God to build this youth building. to make a difference in the youth of today, but my friend also reminded me…this isn’t just a building for tomorrow or for 2009, it is a building that will make an impact for so many years to come. we must work with one hand and be armored in the other. because satan is a strong opposition and sees great opportunity in weakness to attack those who are doing the work of God. he sends distractions to try to pull us off our task and on to more selfish things. one of my many resolutions for this year is to trust more, which is always a struggle for us of human nature. but God has great plans, and i will not come down from what he has me to do. i anticipate hearing testimonies in eternity of how God has done great things in many lives through this facility. so bring it on 2009! i’m ready for growth!!!
as all know, the holidays bring a lot with them. “cold” weather, carols, family… i have always looked forward to this time of year. trimming the tree and decking the halls have always brought me much joy. it saddens me that this year i haven’t really “gotten in to it”. maybe the fact that we aren’t in our house…putting up tania’s things in the way she had them is nostalgically nice, and has a beautiful southern living look to it, but it is still impersonal for me. maybe the “christmas excitement” was all used up with getting 4 homes ready for the christmas home tour that kinetic put on this year for STL. it was fun, but tiring, and still not the excitement of pulling out my own cherished christmas decor and strategically placing it to where i would get a “chestnuts roasting on an open fire feeling” as i walked through my house. i haven’t started shopping yet either. thinking about getting out the old MacBook tonight and joining millions on my couch who just click and wait for “santa” dressed in brown to bring it to my door verses try to go out with 3 children and face the masses who like the thrill of waiting in traffic, standing in lines and dealing with a cashier who is tired of working 12 hour shifts. i say all this not to complain, but to share, after all, that is the purpose of blogging! christmas will be joyful, different, but joyful this year. sam and ben will love it. and i will love being a part of that.
it has been quite some time since i last posted anything…not that i haven’t had PLENTY to blog about, just no time. i really have no time now either, but i’m avoiding chores and list making for ben and sam’s 3rd birthday party. since my last post we have gone through some major transitions. we have moved in with my father in law. after many weeks, months of prayer we made the decision to move in to help him out with the house, all of the ‘firsts’ and as jason likes to say: “bring the noise”. and that we have. i’m not going to cover for the sake of a sweet blog, it has been hard. i love my house and my space. but that wasn’t important. we felt God moving us in this direction. it took us a while to get packed up…i really didn’t realize how much ’stuff’ we had. we rented our house out in 3 days on craig’s list to a wonderful couple. they have allowed us to leave some things in the attic and best of all they have allowed us to leave the murals on the walls in the kids rooms. as for the rest of our stuff we have it all crammed in our dear friends garage…i still think they were trying to be too nice and are now second guessing that kind gesture! we have had many great friends help us out in this transition, it is nice to have a fantastic support group around you. we are blessed.
we have been here on spotted owl lane for a little over a month. sam, ben and jack have done quite well with the change. a little set back with a few things like potty training and going to bed, but those things we hadn’t mastered yet anyhow. they love being at pa pa’s house. watching football with him and reading books. we are a schedule oriented family so getting back into routine here has made things easier. and the daunting task of cleaning a significantly larger house than my own still has it’s overwhelming days, but for the most part fits right in to a daily routine.
things are good here though, i know that God is going to teach me many things, and already has. but we can’t complain. it is beautiful out here. as you can see for yourself!
so, my fabulous husband has a hobby. collecting old rusted out land cruisers. it tends to be a hobby that starts out with a dream, but ends up being clutter in our garage. i do love this hobby for him… his eyes light up when he sees one on craig’s list or ebay. i see his passion in it. well, last saturday he calls me outside, he had been out staining our fence and had the garage open. the color had somewhat left his face as he tells me he saw a mouse in our garage. jason has a fear of mice. he despises them. so i ventured in to look for him. there he was next to 4 large tires-off of our latest and most beautiful of all the land cruisers-we are thinking he hitched a ride in one of them to our house, or he came from the church garage in some of the other lc paraphernalia. he was a cute little guy. well, i thought that until he ran up to the front of our house and up the rafters into our attic. then, i wanted him gone. i could just envision him up in the attic chewing through all of my Christmas decor, and i couldn’t let that happen. jason wanted his body maimed in a trap that would cut his body in two…but i have a weird soft spot, and i also knew that I would be disposing this maimed body because he wouldn’t come near it. so i went on a search for a trap… as humane as i could find. i found the mouse cube. you put some bait inside and the little vermin goes in and gets stuck… then you can release him without killing him or touching any part of him. so of course, i spend the $1.99 for it and jason set it up last night. we have been sick all day today and i totally forgot about our little friend. but jason hadn’t. he asked me to go check the traps. there he was… stuart little.. i took the little guy for a ride around the block and let him go in the woods. jason just rolled his eyes at my satisfied grin. but we are mouse free and no one was harmed in the process.
so what would you do if your twin brother had a toy that you really wanted to play with? he had it first, thus spoiling all your chances of getting it for at least 15 minutes or until he gets tired of taunting you with it and moves on to something else. it looks so fun, no matter if it IS your baby brother’s bumbo seat – it doesn’t make noise or light up, it is just fun to sit in. i will tell you what ben lucas burgbacher did: he found a treasured toy: a orange and white matchbox airplane and started it’s engine. the plane soared through the air, coincidentally close to where sam was sitting and playing smugly in the bumbo. noticing the extreme fun ben was acting out with the airplane he promptly gave up the coveted seat. the smugness switched characters as ben took his throne. of course, the newness was over in about 5 minutes and they have since taken an interest in the always coveted MacBook!
my fabulous friend, amy sent me this wonderful song that i just had to share with you all. and for those who are tired of hearing of this subject from me…well, this is my blog and i will write about what i want to and this subject is what consumes most of my day! but this is a humorous song on the topic. hope it makes you chuckle! poopsmith.mp3
we are doing great with the #1 on the potty, unless there is really something that grabs all their attention – we don’t have any accidents there. sam and ben both will run up to me yelling…”i have to poo poo” and go to the toilet-but when we get there-they lose the urge and don’t want to. i have been told to let them go commando, let them shoot their “torpedoes” at cheerios, and buy a little training potty so they feel closer to the floor. this is crazy….i have explained poop in more ways then i ever thought i would. some say to explain that it has to get out of our body and is like leftover food that gets thrown away. there really is no reasoning with my children, because at 2 1/2 they are already pros at reasoning. they don’t want to–therefore they won’t. i have come to grips with this and know that they will go when they are ready. i told a friend the other day-”i haven’t seen any teenagers walking around in pull-ups, so i know that sam and ben will get it someday.”
my mother told me that when i was little, she would just leave me on the potty with books to read until i would go…so i tried it. and ben went #2 in the toilet…he got to sleep with his diego! he was very happy…and so am i!
bet not many blogs have this kind of rich content…
we started this week out by throwing away ben and sam’s size 5 diapers. for anyone who knows me, they know that i like to do a lot of research before a transition. so i had prepared myself by reading the ezzo’s book potty training 1-2-3. i really recommend this book. it is practical and easy to follow. and i think that success shows. now my expectations were high…i do humbly admit that i have a great amount of pride when it comes to my children…a great friend told me that it only gets worse the older they get…so i’m in trouble! but the boys are pretty smart, ok, let’s not be silly, they are brilliant! so i thought, after reading about people having this training done in a matter of hours, i just knew that by lunch monday my children would be done with all training and i would be sitting down wondering what i was going to do with the extra $50 a month that i used to spend on diapers. not that easy. don’t get me wrong…it wasn’t the worst thing i’ve had to do. but take in mind that i am putting two 2 1/2 year olds in underwear and letting them loose in my house. they caught on quick. the basic principle is to reward them for staying clean and dry and when they go to the potty the get the double reward. they love candy, but never really get it…so starbursts and m&m’s were my bribe of choice. the ezzo’s use the principle of letting them teach a doll how to potty and reward their doll and then they will want to do it too. no dolls are allowed in our house so we used puppy and lion that cindy strickland bought them for their 2nd birthday. they loved this! they caught on to pee pee quick…still had an accident here and there when they were busy playing. the #2 thing they don’t have…they are scared. so jason bought them 2 diego toys and set them up over the toilet. ”if you go in the toilet you get these” kinda thing. i tell you…ben sat on that toilet red faced! he wanted that diego. i thought by wed that they were golden. no pee accidents. i took them to the potty at least every hour. they did great at preschool too. they are 100% in underwear…night time they are dry and ask to go potty in the morning. naps are dry too. then we had a girls night last night and they were at the church…it was like total relapse! when i came to pick them up sam had his change of clothes on and ben had had an accident. so far today no accidents. so we aren’t were i thought, but we aren’t too far. but diego still stares at them through the box…and they stare back. i know they will get it. and when they do i will be the happiest out of the crew!
i will keep everyone up to date on our progress…hopefully good news to follow….until then look at this accomplishment by our younger, yet equally as fabulous jack stack:
no hands!!
today is september 10th. 3 months ago our family lost a pretty significant part. i can’t believe 3 months have passed since that horrible day. i still sit here today in total confusion, still wondering how it can be true. her laugh is still so resounding in my ears. i was talking to the ben and sam today about their papas. they said “we have 2 papas” and i agreed with them. then they said, “we have 2 mamas”..i choked. and had to correct them. ”no” i said. “you only have one” then they remembered that their absent mama was gone. ”mama with jesus” sam said. then ben chimed in, ”mama got us new books!” and he was right. 3 months ago today tania had come over to babysit them and as most times had brought them presents. 3 new books. as i was leaving for my appointment i heard her reading from one of them. it was “where is spot”. and she was so animated looking for the infamous main character under every flap in the book. it was as if the item found under every piece of the board book was leaping out at them as they stared intently at every turn of the page. as if the date wasn’t hard enough i thought about all the things that have happened in these 3 months that i know she would enjoy hearing…1st day of preschool, ben and sam mastering the english language, jack cutting 2 teeth, potty training stories (that is another blog). today jack sat up by himself. he can now sit and reach for toys, balancing and reaching everywhere. he also had a doctors appointment. his 24 week visit. he is 6 months today. i would always call her and my mother to tell them the weigh in and all the facts. i sat in the lobby of the office waiting to be called with tears welling up, thinking about all these things. i know that i said i don’t share many “personal” and private things in these blogs, but she was so much to everyone. i just thought it would be ok, just this once to break my rule…
